We often use affirmations and resolutions to beat up on ourselves!
Our resolutions are usually something like:
This next year I need to:
try to be better at________
give up_______
be more _________
do more ________
do less_________
The bottom line is always the assumption that there is something wrong with us. I don’t know about you, but in my experience as a mother, teacher, friend, or dog person, punishment never invites, creates or shapes radiant graceful willing change.
Research shows, and we know, that after a few weeks our resolve fails. This is almost always because of an inner conflict.
But consider this: feeling conflict inside is a signal that something new is incarnating. Conflict signals that we are standing on the brink of something new that may challenge what we thought we believed. Choosing something new is the only way we grow. We are designed to grow and change! We can do it slowly one small step at a time though!
What inner conflict is stopping you from moving into the flow of your resolution?
Think of the conflict as an invitation to consider: What do I REALLY want…?
Now ask—what are some little things can I do to give myself more of that?
Imagine that you can take the edges of the new energy of 2013 and shape it into a New Intention for your own life.
What might stop you, sabotage you?
Fill in the open spaces:
I want_______
BUT
I can’t have it /won’t do it…
because_________
Under your BUT is the conflict that is leading to the sabotage of your resolution.
An inner conflict represents movement toward your deep caring about something. Your intuitive knowing is colliding with someone else’s idea of what is best for you.
What is your real, deeper intention for 2013?
What do you really want to manifest in this new year?
This is my New Intention for 2013:
___________________________________________________________
Notice any conflicts that arise when you really consider doing this.
If it fits for you, consider if there are any internal conflicts between wanting to choose what is right for you, and feeling like you need to make a choice that supports someone else. The two choices may feel so tangled that it feels like you “are” the conflict.
On the one hand is the voice in you that comes from your past, your training in your family, how you had to be to survive, the voice of your “good boy or girl.”
On the other hand there is your true voice.
Now, prepare to tap to support your New Intention.
- Notice where and how you experience the conflict in your body.
- What are the emotions connected to the conflict?
- What is the intensity of the body sensations and the emotion 0-10?
- What is the story you have been telling yourself about change?
- What is the story you are feeding?
- What bad thing will happen if you take a step over the threshold??
- How true is this story, 0-10? (10 being really true)
Our sabotage is run by the story we tell ourselves about what it would mean to change, and the energy pattern of conflict that this creates in our bodies. EFT can help us to shift the story, and bring movement back to the stagnant energy pattern of the conflict.
Remember that beliefs are just often repeated thoughts.
Thoughts are not facts. Once you start telling yourself a story, and you tell it to yourself and other people a lot, it becomes absolutely true for your subconscious mind…
TAP
Even though I’ve been telling myself a story about what might happen if I acted from my true self… I believe in myself…
Even though I’ve been telling myself stories about not being able to cross this threshold
… I deeply and completely forgive myself… the truth is, I really don’t know that what I’ve assumed is true…
Even though my stories about what might happen have created negative feelings… I believe in myself… and I’m willing to release these stories…. And just stay with learning about what I know deep inside to be true
Tap through the points
What I’ve assumed about manifesting my next step…
What I’ve been assuming about what might happen…
It’s a story I’ve been telling myself.
But I don’t know that it’s true.
I have been thinking the way I was taught to think.
Back then I was thinking with a limited experience of life.
I’ve been living as if that story was a life sentence…
But that may not be true.
I’m ready to consider releasing my story…
The events that created those old stories are no longer happening.
I am free to choose a different story that feels better…
I am free to choose different behaviors that get better results.
Revisit your New Intention, and the conflict that it brought up.
Take a moment now to consider the energy pattern/shape of this conflict. We’re creating energy all the time by our attitudes, thoughts and emotions.
In your New Intention, are you creating life-giving energy, focusing on solutions and positive outcome?
Or… do you find yourself creating negative energy, obsessing instead on what is fearful, hurtful or anger-provoking? If you tend to focus on the negative and the fears, you may be re-stimulating old wounds.
Our beings are built to heal from an injury, physically and emotionally. But if we repeatedly choose the old story to dwell on, we can make the injury into a wound that becomes chronically unhealed.
Some questions to ask:
How might your conflict about your New Intention be keeping the edges of a wound open and draining your energy?
Are you trying to help someone who never really changes?
Are you needing something that you can’t control, can’t make happen?
Are you being dragged down by the negativity of others?
What is draining your energy away from the threshold that beckons to you?
This is a good time to begin the 9 Gamut Routine.
The 9 Gamut point helps us to think about re-prioritizing what is important. Tapping gently on the point balances the right and left hemispheres of the brain, so that we can make choices instead of defaulting to our usual stuck response.
Tap on the back of your hand, between the last two knuckles and back about an inch. As you tap, talk out loud to yourself:
I wonder if I have been holding a wound open…
I wonder if I have been letting revenge, depression, self doubt or even loyalty keep a wound open in me.
I wonder if I can let go of these feelings so this wound can become simply an injury that can heal.
I might even have been using this wound to drain energy from others in order to gain sympathy, or care, or attention.
Maybe something in me believes that I can’t close this wound, or that I will lose something if I do.
I have disconnected from myself.
I want to let go of the “edges of the wound” so it can begin to close and heal.
I can heal my connection with myself and with my world.
I can turn away from the toxic or traumatic memories.
I don’t have to use them as a basis for identifying myself.
I am ready for a New Intention in my life.
Now do the full 9 Gamut process
(Learn how here: http://www.eftfree.net/get-the-eftfree-manual-2)
Many of us found that getting through 2012 was a challenging labor. However, right now many people who are sensitive to the energy of change are suggesting that 2013 represents the edges of a new birth in human awareness.
Take a moment, in your own way, to feel into the good that is flowing towards us and flowing outward from within us. Just begin by assuming that this prediction is true. Ask yourself, if it is true… “What are some signs that I have been noticing in my own life, and the life of my community and my world, that support this suggestion?”
When I think about change, I remember the M.C. Escher print that shows fish and birds changing into each other, held by the water and the air. Fish, water, air, birds, all coexist in the same space. My attention is drawn to the middle ground, the place where fish is not exactly fish, and bird is not exactly bird, but a blend of both, an experiment, a creative wondering, malleable and evolving into new possibilities.
This is what holding a New Intention does inside us, shifting, reshaping our energy field. As we re-shape, the world responds differently to us.
Now, let’s tap for inviting the energy pattern, or shape, of your New Intention for 2013.
Even though I have been afraid to take this step, for all those reasons I had, this place is a creative moment when all possibilities are up in the air and anything can happen.
Even though I thought it was a big step, too big, I understand that my smallest thought, feeling or act can influence and shape the outcome
Even though I was feeling blocked, I am willing to take a chance.
As I change my goals will change……….
I don’t want to be limited by goals…..
I want the goals to change as I grow and change…
I am taking this internal journey and I want to take my intention into the world…..
I want to come home to myself and then move from there.
There is power in my smallest moments.
A single word or action can set vast changes into motion.
I can have faith in what can unfold.
I don’t even need to know what it will be.
I am curious to find out!
I can call on the spiritual forces of creativity, joy and beauty.
I can trust these forces, they are my spiritual birthright.
I am willing to take a chance.
I am willing to step out in any direction to get energy moving.
When there is movement, I will be able to see what I want .
When there is movement, I will be able to see what I need to do.
When the energy is moving I can influence the outcome.
This threshold can represent the presence of abundance and fertility in my life.
Here is a field to be plowed and seeds to be planted.
The field is rich in the promise of growth.
I have the gift of space and a place to grow.
This is my New Intention.
It is my opportunity to find my own way.
It is my opportunity to offer my gift in my own way.
I love the feeling of expansiveness.
This is my New Intention, and I’m sticking to it!
(Some of the above script was inspired by Betty Moore Hafter)
TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR NEW INTENTIONS ALIVE THIS YEAR, AND BEYOND
1. Start small and pick only one intention. Let it feel happy, easy, generative, moving forward.
2. Be curious. Be open to intuition and inspiration and new ideas from all sources: something you hear, something you notice, a word that catches your eye or ear, something you love and want to do more of…
3. Don’t wait until the New Year! Start now! Think of a fun way to give attention to your intention every day, several times a day. What small new habits could you develop that will grow to nourish your intention?
4. Remember that your intention is not something to achieve. It is not a goal. It is a guideline. Allow it to change and morph with new experiences and new ideas. Maybe it will change into something completely different! Let that happen.
5. Make your New Intention public. Share your intention with people who will understand, and who will be good sounding boards and have creative ideas themselves. If your associates don’t think this way, find some new ones who do!
6. Tap through this article often!
With my love and blessing to you, and appreciation for your New Intentions!
Rue
Escher drawing: http://britton.disted.camosun.bc.ca/escher/sky_and_water.jpg
Blossom Reflection, Chrysalis: Dreamstime.com
Bird on Head: Angela Treat Lyon
