Feeling invisible and having to hide is often learned behavior in the family you grew up in. But this EFT tapping routine is not about “making” you be something you don’t feel comfortable with. It is more about you becoming comfortable with being you.
We learn ways to take care of ourselves that now may not be working as well as they used to. You can feel that your old behavior is no longer serving you in the tightness in your body, the welling feelings of anger and sadness. Your body tells the truth.
We all operate with the limited wisdom and map of the world that we have at the time. Bottom line—I think all of us are doing the best we can in the moment.
Ultimately, standing up for yourself, and letting go of old energy patterns, is much more effective than holding blame as a strategy for countering what has happened. Holding blame or keeping yourself invisible just kills you slowly over time, with a constant cascade of toxic chemicals in your body, from holding those emotions.
You can release those negative feelings that you may have been holding in yourself. EFT is very useful for this process.
Do this tapping routine as many times as you want to. Change the words to fit your own situation.
(I haven’t included the tapping points here linked to the phrases, because personally I just like to tap through all the points, saying what is coming up in my mind, until I can’t think of anything else to say or feel about that thought. Sometimes, if one point feels particularly comforting, I will linger on it, tapping and talking to myself. This way of tapping feels more fluid to me.)
THE SET UP
Think of a recent time when something happened that made you feel invisible. Maybe you have been blaming yourself about it.
What is the story that you are telling yourself about being invisible?
Find a specific event in your life that illustrates this feeling. Give it a title. Or, think of an upcoming event that you feel uncomfortable about. Be specific. The more specific you can be in naming the event and using all your senses, the better this tapping protocol will work.
What are the emotions connected to your story?
Notice where and how you experience your story in your body.
What is the intensity of the body sensations and the emotion 0-10?
TAPPING
Use a LOT of expression in your voice when you read these phrases!
Pause in the spaces to add your own words, images , and feelings.
Make this tapping your own.
TAP on the side of the hand
Even though I am so used to tracking my failures… and the people I learned how to do this from were really good at that… so I have a hard time seeing myself, I accept how I feel about all that. I honor myself for how hard this has been for me.
Even though I have believed I have to hide, even from myself… .I accept myself anyway, and I appreciate myself for finding ways to survive.
Even though I tend to honor other people more than I honor myself… and I have spent my life holding myself back… I accept that I have been living this way. I have been doing the best I could.
TAPPING THE POINTS (these are phrases which people have sent to me). Say one phrase as you tap lightly on each point.
I wasn’t allowed to be me
If I was me, I got scolded and yelled at
They told me I was crazy, selfish, or difficult
It was wrong to be/feel/think/say what I did
If I was me, I wasn’t loved If I was me, I was met with hostility
If I was me, I was attacked and got really scared, hurt or shamed.
So being me wasn’t really an option I wanted to be loved and approved of
The only way to be loved and approved of… was to be/feel/think/say what they did or wanted me to do.
So it wasn’t safe for me to be me
And now the program that I have to please others… is automatic and ingrained in me
It has been a survival mechanism for so long… that I don’t even know who I am.
I have hidden myself away to protect myself
In the process I lost myself and most knowledge of who I really am.
This sense in my body of _____________
(tightening in my abdomen, heaviness in my chest, racing pulse, shallow breathing…what is it for you?)
These feelings of _____________
(Anxiety, sadness, fear, anger, feeling vulnerable, feeling crazy, alone, helpless, depressed, dismissed, guilty, unworthy, trapped…what is it for you?)
I am sick of ignoring myself
The original events that created those stories are no longer happening
What I am experiencing now is an echo of what happened back then
Maybe the people in my life were actually doing the best they could from their own limited map of the world at the time….
Maybe even I was doing the best I could….
Now I am free to choose a different story that feels better…
I am free to choose different behaviors that get better results
I’m ready to consider releasing the self blame of my “invisible” story…
Maybe I am ready to let my self be invisible…
And learn how much I love peace and quiet!
I like to end tapping sessions with some or all of these next thoughts.
You might rub your sternum area gently in a circle toward the left shoulder as you say, feel and visualize these statements:
There is power in my smallest moments
A single word or action can set vast changes into motion
I can have faith in what can unfold
I don’t even need to know what it will be
I am curious to find out!
I can call on the spiritual forces of creativity, joy and beauty I can trust these forces, they are my spiritual birthright
I am willing to take a chance
I am willing to step out in any direction to get energy moving
When there is movement, I will be able to see what I want
When there is movement, I will be able to see what I need to do
When the energy is moving I can influence the outcome
I can make a choice about my authentic self and path without even clearly seeing my true self or path…
I can feel it.
There is a presence of abundance and fertility in my life
Here is a field to be plowed and seeds to be planted
The field is rich in the promise of growth
I have the gift of space and a place to grow
This is my threshold
It is my opportunity to find my own way
It is my opportunity to offer my gift in my own way
Breathe, stretch, drink some water.
If it would feel comforting, tap some more for particularly triggering thoughts or memories connected to your story.
Tell your story to yourself again. Notice what is different now.
(It is OK if the feelings are more intense. It can mean that something in you is responding. Just pay loving attention to yourself, tap more for specific triggering details if you want to.)
I am remembering a sign I made, and taped next to my daughter’s bed when she was young: LET YOURSELF BE EASY :^)
Again, holding blame or keeping yourself invisible just kills you slowly over time. Hanging on to blame releases a flood of toxic chemicals into your body with each thought.
The solution is always to put how you feel first—care about how you feel. Take care of yourself.
You might even come to realize that you kind of like being invisible sometimes. For support in being sensitive, read the book Quiet, by Susan Cain. Also read The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine Aron.
You will find these books very affirming!
