I worked with someone recently who said: “I am too different to be a success in the world.”
She meant that she was too creative, too spiritually aware, too outspoken, too idealistic, and too sensitive to do the real work of her heart. She felt she was too different to be recognized and heard in the world.
What she said was reminding me of a wonderful book I read. I hope you have heard of it, and I hope you have read it — Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. You will like it! A lot. This book is well researched, thoughtful, useful and funny.
The book Quiet is divided into four parts with enticing chapter titles:
I—The Extrovert Ideal:
The Rise of the Mighty Likable Fellow The Myth of Charismatic Leadership When Collaboration Kills Creativity
II—Your Biology, Yourself:
Is Temperament Destiny? Beyond Temperament: The Role of Free Will (and the Secret of Public Speaking for Introverts) Franklin was a Politician but Eleanor Spoke out of Conscience Why Did Wall Street Crash and Warren Buffet Prosper?
III—Do all Cultures Have an Extrovert Ideal?
(The answer is no)
IV—How to Love, How to Work
(including this subtitle to one chapter: “How to Cultivate Quiet Kids in a World That Can’t Hear Them”)
I think that you will find yourself on each page of this book. I did!
Susan Cain includes this “introvert checklist.”
Check off the ones that are often true about you.
(She notes that this is an informal quiz, not a scientifically validated personality test.)
- I prefer one-to-one conversations to group activities.
- I often prefer to express myself in writing.
- I enjoy solitude.
- I seem to care less than my peers about wealth, fame, and status.
- I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in depth about topics that matter to me.
- People tell me that I am a good listener.
- I’m not a big risk taker.
- I enjoy work that allows me to “dive in” with few interruptions.
- I like to celebrate birthdays on a small scale, with only one or two close friends or family members.
- People describe me as “soft-spoken” or “mellow.”
- I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it’s finished.
- I dislike conflict.
- I do my best work on my own.
- I tend to think before I speak.
- I feel drained after being out and about, even if I have enjoyed myself.
- I often let calls go through to voice mail.
- If I had to choose, I’d prefer a weekend with absolutely nothing to do to one with too many things scheduled.
- I don’t enjoy multitasking.
- I can concentrate easily. 20.In classroom situations, I prefer lectures to seminars.
How might you turn parts of this check list into a tapping routine for yourself?
- Choose a statement that fits you particularly well.
- Next, think of a critical comment that some people might make about this behavior. Use the first statement as the second half of your EFT set-up statement.
- Example: Even though everyone else seems to like to go to loud parties, I prefer one-to-one conversations, and I deeply and completely accept that about myself!
Back to the woman whom I mentioned at the beginning of this article. She tapped for feeling so different from everyone that she couldn’t be a success in the world.
As we worked with this challenge, suddenly a scary question popped into her head, “What if am NOT an outsider? What would that mean?”
As we tapped further, she came up with this lovely, powerful statement: I can let the work be a beacon. I just need to do my work, and show my heart, and let everyone in. If it fits them, they will come in.
As Susan Cain says, “I have seen first hand how difficult it is for introverts to take stock of their talents, and how powerful it is when finally they do.”
Check out her TED talk here: http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/susan-cain-ted-talk-2014-quiet-revolution/
